Adjusting to parenthood is tough when you have your first baby at 36 years old.
Of course I love every little chubby ounce of my (now) toddler… but it was hard to wrap my brain around something, someone needing me for EVERYTHING when I had been living my life for the last decade+ trying my hardest not to need or rely on anyone for anything. What I’m also trying to say here is that I was pretty set in my ways and adapting to change wasn’t/isn’t necessarily one of my strengths.
So, fast forward a year later… and Joseph’s not as needy as a newborn anymore. He still needs help with basically everything, just in a different way. And now I’m technically unemployed… I’m no longer that career-driven, independent woman. And that feels really weird, unsettling, depressing at times, and on bad days… like I’m a co-dependent leach on my husband. Lucky him, lol.
While becoming a parent has definitely filled a hole in my life (that I didn’t know I even had), I now have a gaping hole where my career resided. Don’t get me wrong, being a SAHM is real work too. It’s just a different kind of work. Cutting up food into small Joseph-sizes pieces and making sure he doesn’t injure himself all day long isn’t quite as stimulating as tradeshows and sales meetings (although more rewarding on most days).
So now I am rethinking my original plan to re-enter the workforce when Joseph turns 2-3 years old and dives into preschool (freedom!!!).
Is there a magic solution for career-driven women to be home with their kid(s) and still work? I don’t know. Selling products to my circle of influence probably isn’t for me (yes, I’ve explored it… and no, I’m not interested), but more power to you if that route was for you. I’m still looking for a perfect career that fits into a Mom’s life, but until then I’ll just keep spending my husband’s money!